The Labyrinth of Life

Dr. Paula Joyce The Labyrinth of LifeWalking the Labyrinth has contributed greatly to my spiritual development. I feel deeply connected to the universality of the mystical process that I engage in every time I enter the Labyrinth. As with so many of my spiritual beliefs and practices, the more I study, observe and open my heart, the more similarities I see among all of our paths.

When in the Labyrinth, I feel a releasing as I move into the center, a connection with God in the middle and a going deeper into my mission in life as I exit. I feel connected to myself, to all traditions and to the oneness of the universe when I use the Labyrinth whether outdoors, in a place of worship or with my finger Labyrinth at home.

The Labyrinth Experience

A few years ago, I had the privilege of walking the Labyrinth at Chartres Cathedral in France. The experience was profound. It always is, regardless of whether I am conscious of how or why at the moment. On this particular walk, however, I was very much aware of many feelings and insights.

It actually seemed as if my whole time in France was a Labyrinth experience. The first half of the trip, I kept going in circles, thinking I was lost, and then discovering that I was just where I needed to be, even if I hadn’t planned it. Eventually I arrived at all of the places that were in my conscious plan. In addition, I had numerous wonderful and unexpected experiences that were usually more powerful and meaningful than the plans that I had made. It felt very much like a living out of the expression, “Man plans, and God laughs.” Eventually I just relaxed into what was happening and gave up trying to control it.

The Summer of the Labyrinth

Without intending to, I arrived at Chartres in the exact middle of my vacation. I was quite surprised to discover that not only was the Labyrinth open, but it was “The Summer of the Labyrinth” with many special exhibits. This was in contradiction to everything I had learned before I actually started wandering around the city of Chartres. It seemed to be just like the experience of the Labyrinth (and life). I have to ask my own questions, seek my own answers, and have the courage to explore and persevere, even in the face of uncertainty or seeming impossibility. So here I was in the city of Chartres, feeling like I was in the center of the Labyrinth, listening to God and following guidance.

The last half of the trip was like coming out of the Labyrinth. I was filled with a stream of ideas for ways to pursue my artistic endeavors. I saw ideas everywhere. They poured into me when appreciating architecture, Parisians’ clothing, gardens and fountains. I was especially aware of new ideas at the most exciting art exhibit that I saw in Paris–which appeared out of nowhere as I was on my way to something else. Everything seemed to be talking to me to such an extent that I had to write things down in order to keep from losing them.

Walking the Labyrinth was, of course, the highlight of the trip. My attention was continually drawn to the brilliant light coming through the window with the Tree of Life. I was so overcome by profound feelings of gratitude and connection with the divine that my hand automatically went to my throat or heart. In the middle of these deep feelings and only partway to the center, the guards started announcing the closing of the Cathedral and that everyone had to leave. I was determined, however, to finish my walk. I continued to the center, as did a few others. I wanted to leave in a respectful manner, and there was no time to spiral out. So I decided to do as my guide had suggested earlier in the day and walk out in a few short steps, on the Labyrinth crossbars, toward the Nave. Despite the fact that the guards were blocking the way, I began my planned exit from the Labyrinth. Later, the man, who had been directly behind me, told me that I had walked with such authority that the guards parted to make a path for me. I had not really been conscious of what was happening. I was too focused on my process. His words, however, touched me deeply because they told me how far I had come in my personal growth.

Changing My Plan

I had wanted to journal as soon as I left the Cathedral, but as with so many of my intents and attempts this vacation (and in life), my plan was changed when this man stopped me with a request to talk. Once again, I released my personal plan and allowed a better one to take its place. He wanted to thank me for helping him to create a sacred space in the midst of so many people who were laughing, talking, curious or uncertain. I, too, had been distracted by these same people and had wondered whether I should say something to them. I wondered if I chose not to speak because I put their rights over mine or because I respected their right to explore the Labyrinth experience their way. And then I heard a loud voice in my head that said, “the only person you can change is yourself,” and I knew I was right to be silent and focus my attention inwardly on my journey. Then to affirm my learning, the man said that he saw people’s attitudes change as they “caught” the devotional tone that many people were expressing. He appreciated being shown how to get out of his head and into his feelings.

This man and I, total strangers, who never even exchanged first names, talked very deeply for two hours. We discovered that both of us had experienced many detours during our vacation. He speculated that maybe that was life—you need to keep your eye on a goal in order for everything else you didn’t plan to happen.

Our meeting during a mystical experience seemed to be far more than coincidence, having its own mystical qualities. Each of us had something wonderful to give to the other. And so it would seem that my connection to the Labyrinth is important. I trust that exactly how will emerge slowly, one step at a time–that is, if I focus on a goal and explore the unplanned detours along the way.

I would love to hear from you. In what ways have the “detours” in your life led you to new joys and experiences that you treasure?

I will be conducting a labyrinth walk on November 12, 2016,
at the Episcopal Church of the Transfiguration.
Go Here: http://paulajoyce.com/site/positivethinking/ for more info and to sign up to join me for this sacred experience.

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Healing Abuse within the LGBTQ Community

lgbt-Im-human-flagWe all grow up with fears, feelings of not being good enough and insecurities. Now add being told by your family, society and your religion that there is something innately wrong with you, that you need to be fixed, that there is no room in heaven for you and top if off with the belief that God does not love you. How do you have any good feelings about yourself? How do you make it through the day? This is the experience of most people who grew up lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender, queer or intersex. Yes, things are changing, but a lot of damage has already been done through the abuse experienced at the hands of family, society and religion. This abuse seems normal to many and opens the door to abuse within their intimate relationships. If you don’t feel you deserve anything better, it is hard to leave abuse. In fact, you might even have the false belief that no one else could ever love you and that you’re lucky to have anyone at all.

 Abuse from the Outside Creates Abuse on the Inside

We have made progress in many ways. Laws in the United States have opened doors for same sex marriage, which is really about more than marriage. It’s about health insurance, property rights, social security and inheritance. It’s even about assuring that a life partner can no longer be barred from a hospital sick room or a funeral because now there is a legal document protecting them. There are countries, however, where someone can still be legally sentenced to death by stoning because of their sexual preferences. Some places are not safe to travel to as a tourist if you’re part of the LGBTQI community, and as we’ve seen recently in Orlando, Florida, it isn’t always safe in the United States of America either.

Just because laws are changing, it doesn’t mean that the attitudes of families, religious communities, bosses, and neighbors are changing. People, who don’t fit the heterosexual mold, experience multiple kinds of abuse. They are often rejected by their families, told that there’s no place in heaven for them and made to feel that the core of who they are is somehow wrong and against the natural order of things. Even with laws prohibiting workplace discrimination, the school district I worked in removed an amazing teacher from the classroom because parents complained about his being gay. A principal in the same district hid her sexual orientation for fear of dismissal, and I know people who are still in the closet for fear of losing the love of their family.

I find that television is a good barometer of what the public is willing to accept, and I don’t see any gay or lesbian presidents or CEO’s or high powered professionals on television. Broadway is bolder, with Kinky Boots as a beautiful example. There are two profound messages in that play. One is the transformative power of accepting someone just as they are. The second is that when you change one mind, you change the world. It’s time to change the world—to eliminate the fear of being who you are and the abuse from the outside, which can lead to abuse within intimate relationships in the LGBTQI community.

After my December 17, 2015 radio show with Dr. Gus Kaufman on healing abuse in the LGBTQI community, I received a wonderful message from Karen through LinkedIn. She wrote: “Did you hear me and everyone I got to listen cheering aloud over your show? It was leading-edge and will change the lives of many who have ears to hear! Thank you.” I really appreciated her enthusiastic response. I had been wanting a guest on this topic since I began the show in 2014 but had not found the right person until Dr. Gus Kaufman. It was worth the wait.

Allies

During the show, Gus commented that allies like me, who are heterosexual, are important for healing abuse in the LGBTIQI community. This really resonated with me because, in truth, we all need to be allies–or we are part of the problem. There is no neutral ground. Hatred and judgment create fear and abuse  in the world. Eventually that negative energy affects all of us. If we can’t change our attitudes and behavior for the sake of others, we must do it for the sake of ourselves, for our children, for the world. We are all at risk. What we truly need is more love in the world. It’s the only cure for the widespread violence and terrorism. You do count. You canmake a difference. Each and every one of us contributes to the well-being or to the destruction of the world. Every one of us has a choice. Especially in this troubled time of spreading anger, fear and hatred, I hope each and every one of you, chooses to add to the positive energy in the world by re-examining your attitudes. You don’t have to love, like or understand the other person and their life choices. All you have to do is accept them as they are. That changes everything.

I’ve learned to accept even my abusers. Accepting doesn’t mean that I choose to approve or condone their behavior or even spend time with them. It just means that I stop judging them and wanting them to be different. Who they are and the choices they make, is up to them. I have my hands full becoming the best person I can be. When I focus on my choices instead of someone else’s, I’m increasing the well-being of the world. I ask each and every one of you to change your attitude, accept what is and spread love. That’s the true meaning of all of the winter solstice holidays of light. Each of us can bring more light and love into the world and by so doing, save the world. So, I ask you, “Who are you tired of hating or being angry with? Who are you ready and willing to accept just as they are?”

Silver Lining Story

My silver lining story is just as relevant for same sex marriages as it is for heterosexual marriages. Abuse within a relationship is never acceptable. Each of us must find the strength and self-respect to never allow ourselves to be abused. My story begins with someone greeting me earlier this week with: “I’m sorry you were treated so poorly by your ex-husband.” There was a time when I would have easily fallen into a “poor me” blame and anger fest. Instead, I found myself saying, “I’m not. It’s what I agreed to before I came into this life.” More importantly, I have learned so much and grown in ways that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise. Those challenging experiences helped me develop the strength to get out and to create the amazing life that I have now. Life is a constant revelation with new surprises around every corner. For instance, shortly after my show with Gus, I was scanning the digital version of the New York Times when I ran across an article that caught my attention, “Run, Hide, Fight” Is Not How Our Brain Works. Gus had just mentioned that abused people often developed digestive problems because they didn’t have time to digest their food properly with the fight or flight response causing them to always be on alert. This synchronicity added to my interest and led to a deeper understanding of myself and my clients. The new brain research shows that we are wired for “freeze, flee, fight.” Our first response to danger, then, is to freeze.

Having grown up with abuse, danger was always present. Consequently, the tendency for me to freeze got generalized and was not limited to what most people might consider dangerous situations. It helped me understand why well into adulthood I held my breath, or froze my respiratory system, when someone yelled or I felt fearful. It took me years to retrain myself to breathe through challenging situations and to breathe deeply into my belly rather than taking shallow breaths into my upper body. It also seemed to explain why one of my digestive problems is that food would get stuck, or frozen, in my esophagus, not being able to move up or down. This new understanding helped me release this old physical pattern. As I connect the fear to the origin of these physical problems, I am able to heal them. And since everything is connected, as I let go of old fears, my digestive and respiratory problems are healing, which in turn allows my scoliosis to heal. As painful as all of these physical difficulties are, there’s a part of me that is absolutely fascinated by the healing process and how I get new pieces of information just as I need them. I feel like I’m running a science experiment on myself. A fascinating development for someone who barely got through her science classes.

So, no, I don’t feel sorry for myself or the abuse in my marriage. The silver linings are too numerous and too profound. An easy life would not have forced me to dig deep. Just like the oyster who needs that grain of sand to grow a pearl, people need challenges to grow their strength and find the best parts of themselves. And I have to accept my own role in the way my life evolved. I chose to stay in that marriage for 36 years. Yes, I can tell you all the reasons why it’s amazing that I got out at all. That still doesn’t exempt me from facing my own poor choices. And having said that, I have to follow it by saying that those poor choices led me to learn about different ways of living, different philosophies of life, how the spiritual realm works, about healing and about my own hidden gifts and talents. No one is more surprised than I am by how much fun I’m having with my radio show or that I’m the same person who would freeze in fear when asked a question. And as I wrote that, I realized that it was another freezing response.

Tip of the Week

Today your tip is to use Personal Prayer. My life started to change when I changed my prayer. Instead of asking for that marriage to be good, I started asking for my own happiness. Even in my darkest moments, I believed that there was a better way to live. I never gave up hope that my life could be better. I never gave up on myself. In the moment of saying that prayer, I made a choice. I chose to live, not just survive. That set me on a path of releasing my fears and filling with love; love from God, or Source, love from my healers and eventually love from my Self. At some point the balance tipped and love became dominant.

A client, who is also a listener, revealed how a prayer helped her begin to change her life as well. She said she started asking to see the truth and to have the strength to deal with it. This set her on a course that gives her the truths she needs as she develops the strength to handle them.  She told me how just listening to the strength in my voice as I talk about my own healing helps her grow stronger. I am grateful for that feedback because that’s one of my main goals. I want you to catch my strength, self-empowerment and joy. Enough suffering! It’s time for the good stuff in life!

Call to Action:

Are you willing to see the truth in your relationships and attitudes? It’s time to become part of the solution, not the problem.

Listen Here for more info: 

Yes, You Can Be Free: Overcoming Abuse Through Self-Empowerment

Triumph Over Addiction and Self-Abuse

From Charm to Harm

Child Abuse: Identify and Intervene

 

 

 

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Gaining Insight through Tarot

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 For most of us, asking for help is the hardest thing. We think that it’s a sign of weakness. Actually, it’s the exact opposite. It’s a sign of strength. You know the expression, 2 heads are better than 1. It’s hard to be objective when we are trying to create change in our own lives. There’s always a pull back from friends and family because as we change, they have no choice but to change in response. There’s even a pull back from parts of our own being. The old patterns don’t work anymore. People say, change is frightening and hard, but the fact is that change is inevitable. The only question is, do you want the change to move you in a positive and healthier direction or in a negative direction? I vote for being healthier and happier, and I hope you do, too.

Becoming Psychic

When working in the spiritual realm it is so important to work with someone who is trustworthy, and their reputation or your friend’s recommendation is not always the best way to know. I have been working in this field for 27 years. You might be interested to know that I didn’t start out as a healer or psychic—or, more accurately, it’s only recently that I can say, “I know I’m a psychic and a healer.” As I look back, I was unconsciously helping people for years and then consciously doing so as a friend, family member or colleague. It’s different now, though, because I’ve been given specific methods to use and through healing myself, I’ve become stronger and have been given more angels and guides so I can help others more effectively and efficiently.

I began consciously connecting more deeply with my own intuition and psychic abilities through the use of runes and then other insight decks and stones. I began with runes because a friend gave them to me and they resonated with me. Runes are an ancient system that helps you connect with your own inner wisdom. They provide information that leads you to find your own answers. I loved reading the accompanying book and the philosophical approach to life that it provided. It gave me the ability to see things in a new way, helping me think about my life and my own beliefs differently. Bit by bit, I learned to experience my world in a healthier way. I would pick a rune in the morning, read what the book said and then go through my day with that message in mind. At some point, I would always get that ah-ha moment when I knew that that was what the rune was wanting me to pay attention to. It helped me experience what was happening with more insight and presence.

Tarot and Insight Decks

 When I learned what I needed to from the runes, I moved on to other decks and stones. Sometimes they were given to me. Other times, I was drawn to them. For instance, I went through a long period of using decks that helped me learn the Native American Indians’ way of seeing the world and their teaching stories. I connected more deeply with nature and my past lives as an American Indian. I went through other periods focusing on Kabbalistic decks, angel decks, ones that took an approach based on Buddhism or the wisdom of the animal or plant kingdom or the divine feminine/Goddess energy. I let my intuition guide me to what I needed at that moment. I took from each set of teachings what resonated with me and what helped me develop my own beliefs and abilities. I am part of the One Mind, as Dr. Larry Dossey says, having pulled from ancient traditions and wisdom. Now I continue to learn and grow directly from the angels and guides who come to me with current wisdom and techniques, always building on the foundations of ancient teachings.

 The cards and stones helped me gain a new approach to life, new belief systems and a healthier more positive, joyful way of living that is more in sync with who I am. It helped me let go of the old patterns and beliefs that were not helping me. Bit by bit, I opened up to new ways of thinking and being in the world. As one book said, every belief system is freeing in some ways and limiting in others. The important thing is to follow your path to becoming freer and more limitless as you take stock of yourself and your life, release old patterns that don’t work for you anymore and allow in new and healthier beliefs and ways of living.

Teaching

 I’ve taught clients how to use these tools. They help you align your physical life with the guidance of your limitless self and your guides and angels. You become in sync with what is good for you in this moment with the bigger picture of your life’s purpose in mind. This is the information that your limitless self and the positive spiritual realm has that your physical conscious mind doesn’t. It helps you let go of negative patterns, worries and fears and the wanting everything to happen right this second. You learn to listen to the best choices for yourself in this moment and get a glimpse of what is happening under the surface that you can’t see. At this point, I have about 30 different decks and stones that provide guidance that connect me with my inner wisdom and the support and guidance of my guides and angels.

Readings

 There is so much wisdom available to us as we open the door and allow our mind, spirit and life to expand. This path has brought me more blessings than I ever could have imagined and I’m grateful to be able to share this with you and help you begin this path or move farther along on it. In addition to teaching you how to use these tools, I do individual readings over the phone or Skype or in person or you could invite me to your city to do a workshop. To work out details, email me at drpaulajoyce@gmail.com or call me at 1-214-736-4460.

 https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/79152/ramp-up-the-power-with-spiritual-tools

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Living Life with Wisdom

tree2Tip of the Week

As you’ve noticed by now, I often include a silver lining story in my blog. When appropriate, I’m going to begin with a tip for the week from my e-book, 33 Tips for Self-empowerment. I’ve decided to do this because when you are self-empowered, you are connected to your limitless higher self, your soul. As you learn to hear the still small voice within over the loud voices of others, you will begin to feel at peace. It is through this connection with the limitless part of yourself that miracles occur, like unexpected healing and wealth. In our first show this year Psychic Dawon Washington pointed out that this connection to our limitless higher self is essential to make the best use of the energy available in 2016. This is new energy entering the world that will allow us to change our destiny and create the life we desire. So please use these tips. My Tip for this week is: Reconnect With The Divine. Fear moves in when we feel separate from the Divine. Think of someone you love and reconnect with the Divine through Love. The fact is that like fear, separation is an illusion. Since the Divine is pure Love, we can help ourselves feel Divine love by feeling the love of another human or an animal. This is what we mean when we say, “love is all there is.” When we are able to truly know and feel that, we live without fear and in continuous connection with the Divine.

Silver Lining Story

My silver lining story for this week is actually about my last 2 shows, which were both on emotional abuse. Every time I do a show on abuse, old buried memories, new insights or feelings of sadness or anger surface. With Dr. Marti Loring, I remembered that feeling of never being safe and of walking on egg shells never sure what was going to trigger an angry explosion because there was, in fact, no rhyme or reason to his actions. That was the whole point. The outbursts were random to keep me off balance. With Nancy Addison, I remembered who I was when she and I met before we had left our marriages and we were still trying to make a plan to leave. I remembered how fearful, lost and disconnected from my own power and strengths I was. It was painful to look at all of that again, some of which I hadn’t thought about in 10 years or more. The silver lining is that by allowing those feelings to surface, I could examine them, feel them, learn from them and release them. Through this process I become even stronger and more comfortable in my own power. It’s easier to keep those feelings buried and not remember. The problem with that is that they are still there doing damage under the surface. When I allow myself to feel what I was unable to feel years ago and release it, I free myself to be more of who I am and to bring in more joy and physical and emotional health into my life. I’ve noticed that when the process is complete, I have more brain power and physical energy. Keeping unpleasant thoughts and memories suppressed takes a lot of energy—physical and mental. When that energy is no longer needed to hold back those feelings and memories, it becomes available for me to use in positive ways of my choosing.

Life Lessons

Living with abuse is like experiencing a death, the death of the true self. Even though the body is still alive, the spirit is not. Anyone who has lived with abuse and left has lived through a near-death experience. So here are some things I’ve learned about living.

Let Go of Guilt

In last week’s show, Nancy talked about grappling with the guilt she feels for not leaving her abusive marriage earlier. I’ve learned that I cannot undo the past. I used to ask myself: “Could I have left my marriage earlier?” The answer to that question is “Yes, I could have.” That produces guilt and even anger toward my counselor, who advised me against divorce assuring me that I had a good husband and we shared the same values. The problem with that question is that it was the wrong one. The better question is, “What would have happened if I had left earlier?” What I know now is that if I had left earlier, I would have entered into a similar relationship thinking that it was different but eventually I would have discovered that I had attracted the same kind of man because I hadn’t done the healing I needed to do in order to be free of abuse. You can’t push the river. I needed to stay and develop the inner strength that eventually allowed me to leave and create a healthy life for myself. I know people who have been married 4 and 5 times because they didn’t take the time to change themselves between the marriages. If you do what you’ve always done, you get what you always got. So, no, I couldn’t grow any faster than I was capable of growing. We are always where we should be. The earlier we discover this truth, the easier life becomes and the easier it is to release guilt.

The guilt is really a form of self-abuse. When we realize that we are all One and that the Divine is pure love, there is no room for guilt or self-criticism. The logic of the Oneness with the Divine is that if we criticize ourselves, we are criticizing the Divine that is within us and thus we are criticizing the Divine. One way to stop this pattern is to pay attention to our thoughts and substitute the self-criticism with the awareness of what we learned in the way of wisdom and knowledge and how we grew. The more of us who commit to doing this, the more love there will be in the world, thereby diminishing the violence and fear in the world.

Let Go of Judgment

It is important that we do this as we observe our path in life, which is only clear in retrospect. We think we are achieving a designated goal when in fact we are really gaining experience for our true path. All of our experiences are actually preparing us for what we wind up doing. That’s why we now write resumes based on the skills we have learned and the accomplishments we’ve achieved in each job rather than just listing a series of job titles. Certainly, I never would have thought that my life experience as an abused child and woman would influence my career path. Yet, here I am. Living life with a sense of curiosity, adventure and wonder rather than judgment and absolutes makes it possible for our lives to unfold like a novel. We have to be willing to shed our skin, like a snake does, when it no longer fits who we are. Recently, I was reading that hermit crabs grow by discarding their shell as it becomes too confining for them. They know when to shed the shell because they feel uncomfortable. That discomfort, that stress can be our impetus for growth. We can get stuck in bitterness, guilt and blame or we can welcome the opportunity to shed our limiting ways, learn and grow.

Make New Choices

In education, we have two curriculums. One is the curriculum that the teachers are given at the beginning of the school year. It includes the skills, content and competencies that the children need to learn for their written tests. Then there’s the most important curriculum and that’s the unwritten curriculum. The one that you don’t realize you’re teaching but actually influences the character of your students. It includes the way you treat people, the values, the morals, the attitudes that you share with your students, your prejudices, your likes and dislikes, your frustrations, how you approach a problem, etc. In other words, the most important lessons in life are the unwritten curriculum. In every relationship, job and experience, there is an unwritten curriculum. Pay attention to what you are learning, whether the learning is enjoyable and who you are learning from. Then consciously choose to continue with that unwritten curriculum or to choose another one. We do have the ability to turn in any direction and at any moment. Make sure you are using that ability wisely.

There’s a Jewish teaching story that I love. It goes like this: when Zuysa finds himself at the entrance to heaven, he’s asked only one question. “Were you Zuysa?” His accomplishments don’t matter. God only wants to know if he was true to his authentic self. The other wisdom that I love comes from the founder of the Hasidic movement, the Baal Shem Tov who said: “Who lives in joy, does the Creator’s will.”

Question

So I ask you, what if all that was expected of you was to be You and to do so in joy? How would your answer effect the way you live your life and the choices you make?

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2016 is a Year of Great Potential: Here’s How to Make the Most of It

Wmanifestationhat follows is extremely valuable information on how we can make 2016 a spectacular year for ourselves and at the same time decrease destructive influences in the world, like violence and global warming. If enough of us do this, we can even help to create world peace. All we have to do is spend a few minutes each day doing the exercises described below. Invite others to do this to add even more positive energy to the world. The more of us who do this, the better it is for all of us.

Psychic Dawon Washington, my teacher, mentor and colleague, emphasizes that 2016 is a year of choice and of great potential. The energies for this year are opening doors for us to create what we want, but we have to do our part to make that happen. The choice is to give into fear and close doors of opportunity or add to the positive energy and help to create a world of joy, peace and light. We truly are co-creators, and more than ever, our positive or negative attitudes, words, thoughts and deeds will influence our own lives and the world. The energy we create of fear or love will spread into the world. Through positivity we can help create calm and peace within the weather systems and even diminish the level of violence in the world. As we accept and love ourselves, knowing that we deserve love, peace healing and abundance, we automatically let go of violence, fear and judgment of others. Yes, we can even influence the economy. Let’s commit to planting the seeds of positivity, growing them and manifesting them within ourselves and in the world. If this idea that world peace starts with peace within ourselves seems hard to understand, I want to remind you of some of my previous radio shows with guests like Sandra Ingerman.

Dawon also explains, as did Dr. Larry Dossey in our very first show, that if we come together in One Mind, we can bring peace and love to the planet. In this One Mind, we share a single consciousness. The more we understand that we are all connected and that we all influence each other, the more motivation there is to focus on love rather than fear. The more of us who focus on love, the more love and positive energy there will be in the world, which in turn will benefit all of us.

Exercises to Manifest Blessings in Your Life and in the World

As Dawon suggests, if we all repeat these 2 mantras and do these 2 exercises daily, we can help to create our best year ever and manifest love, peace, abundance, joy, light and healing into our lives and into the world.

The first mantra is: We are love as we are loved. All is love as all is loved.

The second one is: We are not victims. We are beings of light empowered through love.

This first exercise that Dawon created will help calm the energies within you and within the earth. Because this year is a year of the heart, it will be a very emotional year. This exercise will help you deal with your emotions in a more peaceful way. Begin by envisioning the earth as peaceful. See a pink heart in the center of the earth and inside the heart is a white rose or white lotus flower. Then think these words into the planet and all that is on the planet 3 times: World peace through love. World peace through love. World peace through love.

The second exercise will help you connect more strongly with your limitless higher self. It is through your limitless higher self that all healing and manifestation occurs. We truly are spiritual beings having a physical experience on earth. The more connected you are to this spiritual part of your Self, the easier and more positive your life will be. Here is a magical exercise that will change your destiny. Think of the happiest day of your life and imagine the Divine shining light on your limitless higher self on that day. Then imagine that your limitless higher self merges with you in this moment and that you are walking on a golden road of limitless possibility. The road is well lit by the Divine and that light is guiding you to limitless peace, joy and light.

There were 3 more important pieces of information for manifesting this year. First, silver is the color for the year and carries the energy of the Divine Feminine aspect of creation. This is new energy being brought into the world to help empower women, bring the masculine and feminine energies into balance and help create world peace. Wearing the color silver, burning silver candles and breathing in silver light will help you connect with this energy. Second, to heal and awaken the heart chakra and to connect more deeply to your limitless higher self, wear, carry and/or meditate with any of these crystals: moonstone, jade, cornelian or turquoise. Third, Archangel Michael is the primary healer this year for any area of your life. Call on him for healing, be specific as to what you want and give him permission in a positive way only to help you, and he will. As with the mantras and other exercises, doing these things daily will bring the most benefit.

The Process of Manifestation

Because manifestation takes patience, my silver lining story today is about patience and trusting yourself. This lesson came through my experience with my washing machine, which appeared to be broken. It was December, and I had a lot that I was managing. I didn’t want to have to focus on figuring out my best course of action when my machine wasn’t draining properly. I had a lot of distracting thoughts and couldn’t come to a place of certainty about what to do. So I did nothing. I decided that I could always use a laundromat until I got clarity on what I wanted to do. A few days passed and my mind quieted enough for me to think through a plan that felt good to me. With confidence, I found a repairman who had consistently high recommendations on Yelp. I liked his manner when I called him, and I liked the fact that he runs his own business and does the repairs himself. The night before our scheduled appointment, I had a feeling that I should try my washing machine again. I ran one small load with no problem and followed it with a larger load that was also successful. In the morning, I called John to explain what had happened. He was very cordial and had no problem cancelling the appointment. If I had acted in a panic, I wouldn’t have had the presence of mind to pay attention to the quiet promptings of my inner wisdom that was telling me that there may not really be a problem at all. There were a lot of silver linings here for me beginning with realizing that not to act was an option. This was new behavior for me that led to peace of mind, making a choice that felt good, listening to my inner wisdom and getting confirmation that the repairman who I chose was professional and trustworthy. I now have him in my contacts for the next time I need a repairman. It may sound strange to you that I’m talking about listening to my inner wisdom over a washing machine, but really we always have a choice of listening to the chatter in our head or paying attention to the answers that we already have within ourselves and that includes the mundane as well as the profound. The more we learn to trust ourselves on the little things, the more we are willing and able to trust ourselves on the big things. It is all important when we realize that every choice leads us down a path to a series of other choices.

When we talk about manifestation or getting what we want, the ability to be patient is extremely important. Most of us want everything right now, but it doesn’t happen that way. As one client said: “Thank you for teaching me that change is a process, not an event.” And that means any kind of change from healing the pain of our past to bringing in the blessings and joys that we want. As another client put it: “no one taught me about change.” I encourage my clients to focus on the small changes because they lead to the big changes. It’s important to take the long view, remembering where you were, where you are now and where you want to be. As we learn to focus on every victory, even the small ones, they will grow and grow until one day you won’t have to work at looking for the growth. It will be natural to always focus on the positive.

Blessings Journal and Manifestation Journal

As you begin to change the way you look at life, everything changes. If you think of every day as a blessing of knowledge, wisdom and growth, you will open new doors to life. In fact, I suggest that you keep a Blessing Journal and at the end of each day you take the time to write down the blessings that you received that day: the blessings of knowledge, wisdom and growth. This will shift your attention from the perceived difficulties or challenges in life to the blessings, which will bring in more blessings. We get what we focus on. Teach yourself to focus on all the good in your life and the good will increase. This one action will change your life because as you change how you think about your experiences, you truly change everything.

Since it’s the beginning of the year, many of you have written your resolutions, which you could also think of as a list of manifestations that you would like to bring into your life. The problem is that most of us start out strong and within a few days or weeks, we’re back to our old behaviors. To reach your goals, I suggest that you create a manifestation journal. Write down what you want for the year 2016 and then write down everything that manifests and your gratitude for it. For instance, if you’ve asked for more money and you find a penny on the ground, write it down and express your gratitude. Otherwise, the gift is lost on you and that blocks the flow. Because we really do create our experience in this life through our conscious and unconscious thoughts, the more we can become aware of our feelings and thoughts, the more we can consciously create what we want. When we see the penny, do we think, “Oh, it’s only a penny.” or do we think, “Wow, Pennies From Heaven!” The first thought, negates the gift. The second one, gives it life and encourages more.

Release Fears to Manifest

Another example is more difficult to grasp. For years now I’ve been working on releasing all my negative thoughts. And yes, that is a manifestation because if you want the good things in life, you have to let go of all of the fears and negative thinking that is blocking it from coming into your life. The challenge is to distinguish repetitive negative thoughts from hearing them as they are releasing. One night in December, I was in an intense process of releasing and it was as if every negative thought that I had ever had came back to say “Hi, did you miss me? Just wanted to say hello one more time.” My response was “No, I really didn’t miss you and I’m saying goodbye now to a deeper layer of negative thinking.” Every time one of those unwanted thoughts came into my mind, I put it into the violet flame that I imagined just above my head. I only got three or four hours of sleep that night, but I had a huge amount of energy the next day to do laundry, run errands and write my show. It felt like all of those negative thoughts had been consuming my energy and blocking me from using my energy in ways that would enhance my life. When the thoughts finally left, I had a surge of energy that lasted well into the evening. By the next day, I felt lighter and happier and more at ease with myself. It was like I had been in a battle for my life, and I won. It didn’t feel very good at the time, but it sure does now. Has it been worth all those painful late nights? Absolutely! As I let go of the cosmic garbage, as Tobin Blake called it, I made room for the joy and happiness, which had been sitting at my door waiting for me to welcome it.

I could view this experience as a negative one or I could recognize, with gratitude, that it was what I had asked for. If I acknowledge this as a manifestation, I would write it down in my journal. And because healing comes in layers, when I get another episode of negative thoughts bombarding me, I will be grateful again for another layer of releasing. And one day, I will truly be free of all negative thoughts. In the meantime, I’m grateful for every layer that I’m able to let go of because that frees up more positive energy and more room for blessings to enter my life.

Question

What are you willing to commit to doing this year to help bring peace, joy, light, abundance, love and healing to yourself and to the world?

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Manifestations for 2016

Art3Here is a technique for manifesting what you want in 2016:

1. Do this sometime between December 30th and January 1st.

2. Spend no more than about an hour doing this. Simplicity is important.

3. Put yourself in a positive frame of mind, think of something that makes you happy, feel the limitless possibilities for your life. You can even say: “I allow my mind to be open to the limitless potential of my Higher Self and that love connects my higher mind with my conscious mind.”

4. Play some instrumental music in the background as you write out the script of what you want your life to be and what you will be doing in 2016.

5. Write it on parchment paper, if you can find it, or white paper if you can’t.

6. Choose the color ink that feels good to you, maybe silver, gold or purple and bless the pen by holding it and asking God, your higher self, your soul to bless it

7. Then take a piece of construction paper in the color that represents to you a joyous and happy 2015 and cut it into a geometric shape that feels positive to you. Then paste or tape it onto the parchment paper.

8. Now put your hands over the paper, ask God, your soul, your higher self to bless your life for 2015. Then visualize the life you want in 2016. See it happening. Then envision a vine going from your paper into the earth thereby grounding it into your earthly experience.

9. Now put it up where you’ll walk by it and see it.

10. As your manifestations come true, be sure to say thank you and feel the gratitude.

For more information on Successful Manifestation, check out my upcoming workshop.  

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The Silver Linings in Anger and Grief

 

Today’s silsynchver lining story is about anger. Some of you may be puzzled by that statement. I urge you to stay with me and listen closely. Those of you who have been listening on a regular basis know that I’ve been working on healing some indigestion that goes away and then re-emerges as I reach deeper levels of healing. Just before my acupuncture session on Tuesday, I got a reminder call about a dental appointment, which was an hour earlier than I had written down. This triggered some deep anger because the appointment was for a redo on a crown. Although there was no additional charge to me, it did cost me time, energy and emotional strain when my reserves were low.

 The Silver Lining of Synchronicity

The synchronicity of the reminder call was the first silver lining because it led me to ask my acupuncturist if the indigestion was related to anger. His response was a strong yes. Previously he had said that it was caused by childhood stress, but anger was a lot more specific. Having grown up with abuse, I had a lot of suppressed anxiety and anger. As a child, there was no safe way to express those feelings, so I ignored them. I continued this pattern into adulthood. By then I had convinced myself that I was a good person if I kept quiet, forgave others, looked for the good in them and didn’t hurt their feelings. This kind of thinking and behavior was affecting my health. When Dr. Chen inserted his needles, I felt the pain as the needles gave the negative energies of anxiety and anger a way to leave my body. People often ask if acupuncture hurts. The truth is that the pain is already in my body. If it doesn’t have a way to escape, it will continue to cause pain and dis-ease in my body. I’d rather feel the momentary pain of the release than have ongoing damage happening under the surface. 

Being Real: Another Silver Lining

Later that afternoon, I went to my nutritional chiropractor to get some supplements to help me with the detoxing. When he asked how I was, I said angry and it felt awful. His response was my second silver lining. He said how refreshing it was for someone to tell the truth and not just say “fine”. It prompted him to share something he was going through, which led to us agreeing that honesty opened the door to authentic human connection and compassion. It was confirmation that being real allows others to be real and receive support. We don’t have to wear the false masks that we think we do.

Receiving Compassion: The Best Silver Lining

I was working hard to let go of this anger. I used many of the techniques I teach: I prayed to my guides and angels, I breathed in blue light, I meditated, I put my negative thoughts into the violet light above my head. Still I had trouble sleeping and finding peace. When I was at my appointment, I found myself telling the receptionist, I’m upset and have to talk with the dentist. With genuine kindness, she offered water. By the time I saw the dentist, my anger was subsiding because I was empowering myself to say what was bothering me. The gift of that awareness was another silver lining. I knew the redo was not caused by negligence. He really is a very fine dentist. In fact everyone in his office is highly competent and exceedingly easy to work with. That didn’t change the fact that I was being inconvenienced in this process and that dentistry holds far too many negative memories for me. Next week, I might have responded with total peace in the same situation or a similar one, but today because of where I am in my healing, it was important for me to speak up. The next silver lining really surprised me. He listened with complete openness. Feeling his kindness and compassion, created an amazing healing within me. I felt years of anger draining from my body. Then I felt the sadness underneath the anger. That, too, moved out as the day went on, making room for joy and peace.

Hope in the Face of Mass Killings

With what is going on in the world right now, I wanted to share this piece that I wrote after a mass shooting in 1999.

In Memory

And when I turned around, I felt like screaming. Surely the world has gone mad. No one is safe anymore. I felt this uncontrollable rage at the injustice, the randomness. I turned around, and I wanted to scream at you. Yet you have done nothing to deserve my anger. You are just here, and the shooter is dead along with his victims.

Truth—stranger than fiction. I couldn’t possibly write a story to rival the one that unfolded tonight. Nothing could be more bizarre, more surreal. The heart and head of this country are disconnected and disheartened bodies are leading us down some path of doom.

I turned around and saw blood everywhere. Violence is rampant. No one is safe. No place is safe. I am afraid to go out but home is no safer. Locks can’t keep the rage, the fear, the violence at bay.

I turned around and I wanted to grab my children, my husband and run. But there is nowhere to run. There is no place to hide.

I turned around and felt God watching.

I turned around and saw no end to this. I turned around and saw more and more mass destruction. I turned around and wondered how much more can we bear—individually, collectively. I turned around and wondered when would we implode?

Then I turned around once more and saw green pastures, children laughing, playing, spinning—totally oblivious to the cruelty and insanity in the world—or maybe they know something we have forgotten.

I turned around, and I saw hope. 

Helping Parents Heal: A Silver Lining for Mark Ireland

The loss of a child can send some people into a downward spiral. Mark Ireland used the loss of his son to find his truth path in life, discover proof of the afterlife and help other parents heal from deep grief. He does this through psychic-mediumship and his organization, www.helpingparentsheal.info. Even the most unthinkable experience can be used to provide hope and healing.

How are you going to use your life experiences to find hope and healing?

 

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Acceptance

acceptance

Typically my clients follow no particular pattern regarding gender, race, religion, nationality, sexual orientation or age. In fact, my 2 newest clients are in their late 60’s. I find this encouraging. If what you’re doing isn’t working, then it’s never too late to seek help. As one person said: “My life has caught up with me, and I’m in trouble physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.” We can continue to do what we always did and get the same results or we can choose to do something different. As Dr. Bernie Siegel said: It doesn’t matter when you change, even if it’s in your last breath. We can all choose to stop surviving and start living. Strength is knowing when to ask for help.

The Spiritual Path

Like my new client, there came a time a number of years ago when my life caught up with me. On the outside everything looked great. I had a successful career, all my children were doing well in school, my husband was successful and we had a beautiful home. So why was I miserable? Years of therapy had not changed how I felt. This deep sadness caused me to set out on a search for God. I did not have a near-death experience, like Stephanie Banks. I did, however, fee lost. The way I was living my life was not fulfilling my deepest needs.

What has been so amazing to me is the way I have been led to different experiences and different people, as if someone had written a curriculum for me. This is not a simple curriculum, though, because every time I make a choice, the curriculum has to change in order to continue to lead me to the people and experiences that will continue to help me grow in the way and at the rate that is right for me. It’s like a huge jigsaw puzzle and how the spiritual realm fits all of the pieces together is truly beyond the human mind to comprehend.

I can comprehend, however, that the better I get at listening to my limitless higher self and my guides and angels, the easier, happier, better my life becomes. As I pay attention to the signs, messages and synchronicities and spend less time judging and more time listening, I learn, grow and change in ways that create more peace and joy. And the guests who I have on my show, Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit, are part of this journey. They seem to appear in the order and at the time that I need their particular message.

Silver Lining

And that brings me to my silver lining story for today. When I was with my family, over my birthday, I had to release some of my illusions and face some truths that I had not been ready to see until that moment. As I was processing this new information and coming to terms with it, I reread Belinda Womack’s chapter on Attachment. I had the sudden realization that attachment is not only to material things but even more importantly, attachment is to expectations and outcomes. When I needed people to behave in a certain way, I was unintentionally judging them, setting them up for failure and setting myself up for disappointment.

At the same time that this awareness was settling into my conscious mind, I was looking up videos on YouTube that demonstrated using EFT or tapping to help me get rid of the indigestion that I had been experiencing. I noticed that some key words kept coming up, which led me to piece together what I needed to do in order to move into a place of complete acceptance of what is. The bottom line is that if we truly and completely accept, forgive, love and trust ourselves, we don’t need anyone else to be or do anything in particular. Simple but not easy. I have been on this path of healing myself for a long time now. This was just the next layer that I needed in order to let go of my expectations of what it means to be a good mother. I realized that I cannot correct the past. I cannot change who their father was or who I was when they were children. More importantly, from a spiritual perspective, they chose the family they were born into and they chose the life path they are on now. They must do their learning in their way and in their time, just like I did and continue to do. What I can do is accept them, see them with the eyes of compassion, empathy and unconditional love. As I released my guilt, I made room for this overwhelming feeling of love.

Acceptance

The silver lining was a joyful family experience. It was the best Thanksgiving I have ever had and actually the best time I have ever had with my family. The feeling of gratitude was deep and real. In giving up my expectations, I was truly able to be in the moment without self-judgment or judgment of others. That left me free to be discerning. I was able to respond, not react, in ways that were positive and affirming for all of us. I found myself just being, laughing and loving freely because I had truly let go of attachment and was trusting myself to know when to just observe, and if action was appropriate, how to do it with unconditional love. That energy turned out to be a magnet attracting the adults and children to me. I’m just at the beginning of this lesson so I’m sure there will be more learning as I’m challenged to deepen my mastery of non-attachment. Since healing happens in layers, I’m sure that there are deeper layers of self-forgiveness, acceptance, unconditional love and trust that I will be called upon to experience. For now, I’m grateful for this new feeling of ease and joy.

Trusting Yourself

The last piece of this story is about trusting myself. Since I’m growing in my capabilities as a psychic, I have to trust the information I’m receiving at even deeper levels than I have up until now, and that means trusting myself more. And that was the blessing of perfect timing in having Stephanie Banks as my next guest. Following her on her journey of learning self-trust, helps all of us learn to trust ourselves.

What are you going to do to begin to listen to your intuition?

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Listening to the Angels

 archangelsYesterday, a new client started her third session with me by saying: “God sent you into my life. After 25 years, I was able to restore my dignity and my sense of self-worth. During the 10 years that I was seeing a psychologist, I was told by her that everything was my fault, even when my husband hit me.” We’re just at the beginning of her healing from the abuse that she experienced throughout her life, but at least now she understands what happened to her. With this new awareness, she can change her life in a positive way. She already has a strong connection to God and a deep sense of gratitude which is wonderful. The problem is that often spiritual people move into gratitude as a way of avoiding their negative feelings. They don’t want to feel anger or sadness or resentment. They believe it isn’t spiritual and/or they are afraid that those feelings will overwhelm them. When we bury the feelings, however, they do even more harm, often causing physical problems. When we allow ourselves to feel and release the pain of our life experiences, we can avoid its turning into physical pain or a serious diagnosis. The gratitude then is an authentic result of releasing the pain and appreciating the beauty of the life that we do have. Moving too quickly into gratitude also blinds us to the truth of our lives. It keeps us in illusion and prevents us from healing. As defense mechanisms go, it’s one of the better ones. In fact, the negative emotions can be overwhelming if we are not working with someone who can help us identify, feel and release them. Unfortunately, most counselors are like the one my client had. They blame the victim and do not provide the information and support that people in abusive relationships need in order to become self-empowered and heal. Fortunately, many people are beginning to get the appropriate help.

Feel The Pain, Then Be Grateful

Often spiritual people, like this client, also wonder why their prayers have not been answered. Is God not listening? Because we don’t get the answer in the way we want it when we want it, we assume our prayer has not been answered. I’ve discovered that sometimes God is saying, you’re not ready for that experience yet. First you need to have a certain set of experiences or maturity or you need to develop a certain set of character traits, like strength, patience or compassion. God then sets us on a path to get what we need before we can have and appreciate what we want.

Following Guidance

When we really get into the flow of life, we often get the information we need ahead of time so that we are prepared. As you know, I turned 70 since our last show and celebrated with my children and their significant others in New York. Just before I left, I read a post on Facebook reminding people that in some situations, it’s best to say nothing. That was an answer to an unspoken prayer and I played the message in my mind several times during my visit. One of the gifts of aging is realizing that you don’t have to and really shouldn’t say every thought that you have. That reminder helped me enjoy my birthday celebration.

Silver Linings

The other gift of advance information was as a result of my show with Dr. Dawson Church on EFT, often referred to as “tapping.” This is also my silver lining story for today. I had been working on healing some digestion challenges for a while and the problems were getting more intense as the healing process went deeper. Normally I’m quite patient with these kinds of healing episodes, but not so last weekend. I really wanted to enjoy my birthday and eating was part of the celebration. Not surprisingly, I got stuck in serious traffic as we were leaving LaGuardia airport. This gave me time to think. I got out my iphone and found a video on EFT. I practiced tapping to relieve the indigestion until it was gone. I used the technique all weekend and thoroughly enjoyed my food, as a result. The silver lining, is that the indigestion is now totally gone. Also, now that I know the technique, I am using it for other problems that are near completion, like congestion. I feel like I just got a new toy–only it’s better than a toy because it improved the quality of my life.

The other challenge during this trip was my cat, Benji. As I told you a few weeks ago, I called a pet psychic to help me solve his bathroom behavior. As long as I was talking to her, I decided to address some other problems that had seemed to get worse recently, like his digestion. She said that he was eating too fast because he missed me when I was out of town. So on this trip, I decided to ask Caroline to come every day while I was gone, feed him and also give him some extra petting and attention. In addition, I followed the psychic’s suggestion of sending him love every day in the form of a visual image. This was to reassure him that I loved him and would be back soon. The result was a happy cat. Caroline said all was well while I was gone and I could tell by his response when I returned that he had done better this time. Because of the planetary shift that is happening now, our energy is changing. This is also true of animals, which is why my cat has been exhibiting increasing problems. I had already added a fermone scent diffuser where he spends a lot of time to help calm him. This diffuser emits a scent that causes him to think his mother is present. That has helped him immeasurably. Having a calmer happier cat was a silver lining to the bathroom problem. I don’t think I would have consulted the psychic otherwise, but I’m really glad I did. Since Benji can’t take care of himself, it’s my responsibility to meet his emotional and physical needs. In the future, I will not hesitate to call a pet psychic again. It was well worth it. The other silver lining was that it freed me to have a good time, knowing that he was more relaxed.

Feeling the Joy

And that I did. I couldn’t have been happier with the play that I chose for us to see on Broadway. I felt that I had been guided to that choice over the course of a couple of years. First, one night when I needed to unwind, I ran across a movie, Kinky Boots, which I had never heard of but thoroughly enjoyed. Second, I saw Billy Porter win the Tony for the male lead in a Broadway musical for his role in Kinky Boots. Then I saw a public broadcasting program, Back to Broadway, featuring Billy Porter singing Broadway hits. When he sang the song from Kinky Boots, I was deeply moved. We all know that 3 is the magic number. So when it came time to choose a play, I knew exactly what I wanted to see without even checking reviews or current shows. I didn’t even know if Billy was still in the play. To my delight, there he was just a few feet away from me. Later, my daughter, who shares my passion for Broadway musicals, told me that he was only back for a limited run of a few weeks. The Universe was very busy arranging things for me. All I had to do was pay attention and have the courage to ask for what I wanted. My daughter even bought me Billy’s CD of the TV program I had seen so that I would have a reminder of my special day.

I’d love to hear from you.  What are some ways in which you bring more love into your life?

 

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Signs, Symbols and Synchronicity

synchronicityAsking for a sign

During last week’s show, my friend, Miriam called in with a question. Since it was at the end of the show, we didn’t have much time. So I called her to make sure that she felt satisfied with the answer. She did and as we continuing the conversation, she said that she was really frustrated because she couldn’t find an important document. I suggested that she stop her frantic searching and say the following: I give my guides permission in a positive way only to show me where I put the document. She followed my instructions and immediately went to a stack of papers that she had already looked through twice. This time, she went directly to the missing document. Miriam could have thought that it was just by chance that she went back to that particular stack and found what she needed or she could have seen it as the guidance that it was. When we acknowledge that the Universe really is communicating with us, our lives change for the better. I have used this technique numerous times to find my keys, lost jewelry, directions or a person in a crowded venue to name a few examples. It works every time.

Our guides and angels are always present and trying to communicate with us. Since we have free will, we need to ask for their help and guidance. They can only do so much without our explicit permission. I add the words “in a positive way only” because we can experience life through positive experiences or ones that are more challenging. When we ask for something to manifest in a positive way only, we are telling our guides that we want good things and we want to learn our lessons through ease and joy. We are coming into a time now on the earth plane where learning through the positive is going to be more common. No request is too big or too small. They want to help us and are grateful when we ask.

Synchronicity

The signs, symbols and synchronicities in our lives are constant, but in our skepticism we can spend a lot of time denying them. When we open up to the possibility of these magical experiences, we feel connected, joyful and grateful. Last week, for instance, my phone decided to call my daughter who was on a hike. It was sitting next to me and I hadn’t touched it. I assumed she would be out of communication, and I just thought it was a technological glitch. Within 2 minutes, I received a group text from her telling us that she had completed her adventure. My phone was dialing her while she was writing her text. My guides were alerting me that she was safe and back in communication.

One of my new clients also pays attention to messages. She told me how she felt that she had been led to me. She described hearing about one of my upcoming radio shows on her car radio. It sounded interesting so she found the on-demand episode and enjoyed it. Then she was at the yoga center where I had officed for a while and saw my literature. She understood these as signs that I was the person who she needed to see. These were synchronicities, not coincidences. She had tears in her eyes as she relayed the sequence of events. When you know at that deep level that your guides are helping you, life becomes a blessing.

Signs

I was working with another client last week, when a yellow petal fell off of a rose that was next to us. It was so dramatic that both of us noticed. We were discussing the block that she had just drawn, which was in the color yellow and looked like a ball of yarn that was unraveling. I was saying that it represented the fear that she was releasing from her third chakra and how it explained the physical discomfort she had been feeling in that area. The yellow petal falling off was a signal confirming that the fear was falling away. It was like a loud exclamation point from guides. It was such a beautiful moment. It really felt like time stood still.

Paying Attention

Whether it’s personal or professional, I am always noticing the communication. The other day, my oldest daughter’s deceased godmother was sending her love through my acupuncturist and her daughter. She had contacted me in his office previously. That time, she came to me during my treatment and asked me to take care of her daughter. On my way out, I was surprised to see her daughter in the waiting room. I had no idea we were both going to the same acupuncturist. I arranged for us to have dinner and have seen her numerous times since then through synchronicity rather than by design. On this particular day, Dr. Chen mentioned a new client of his who came in because of pancreatic cancer. He had never mentioned another client before and I immediately thought of my daughter’s godmother who had died of the same illness. When I left his office, I went to do my grocery shopping and ran into her daughter. We hugged and she blurted out, “It’ll be 16 years this week.” I know her mother brought us together so that I could give her daughter that hug and listen to her relay experiences that other people would not have appreciated or even understood. I eased the pain of her loss and we got to share our mutual love for her mother. We parted with another hug and a commitment to share another meal.

My guides were also busy this week sending messages through the animal kingdom. One of my favorites is when a grasshopper plants itself on my window, as it did a couple of days ago. There is no denying that it is there for me, telling me that I’m about to take a big leap forward in my life. Earlier that day a large group of red tailed hawks flew into my visual field. I often see one or two, but this was unusual. Then, twice on that same day, a flock of geese flew directly over my window in the shape of a V, honking the whole time. This was a new experience for me and very exciting. Just the sheer beauty and power of seeing these large birds so close to me and coming right at me was spectacular. So many strong messages coming on the same day was telling me to pay special attention. Something big is happening. 

Silver Linings

My silver lining story this week is also about an animal. My cat, Benji is very dear to me. I knew he helps me by transmuting negative energy, but I didn’t fully understand how until I called a pet psychic when Benji chose to use my office floor instead of his litter box. He told her that he was marking my space to clear it of negative energies that my clients were releasing. I suspected that this was the case but thinking it and knowing it are very different. She was able to tell him that I can keep my own space clear, which I do. The best part was that she told him how much I appreciate his help. I’ve told him before but now we have a mutual understanding. I also learned that he chose me because he wanted to be of service and help me with my clients. That was a beautiful silver lining. This crisis brought us closer together as a team and helped me understand why I like to see my clients in my home office. Plus, I now have a pet psychic who I trust to have on the show.

I’d love to hear from you.  How are you going to start paying better attention to the signs, symbols and synchronicities in your life?

For more information on signs, symbols, and synchronicity, please check out Robert Moss and his book Sidewalk Oracles.  Our interview can be listened to here on demand.  

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Finding Silver Linings Even In Emotional Abuse

I hope todaysilverlining2’s silver lining story will help you change your life or that of a friend. Eleven years ago last month, I left my abusive marriage which was part of a lifetime of abuse. It was, however, the turning point. It was when I chose to change my life, to stop blaming others and to start digging myself out of a hole of low self-esteem, sadness, fear and wanting love and respect from people who would never give it to me. I began to tell myself the truth of my life. Everything looked great from the outside looking in but not from the inside looking out. My counselor kept asking me if I was going to be OK. I didn’t understand why she kept asking because I didn’t realize how much of me was not there. Even though I had raised 3 children while holding down high-level administrative positions in a University and then in a school district, I was not the strong independent woman that everyone thought I was. I had even bought into the false self that I had portrayed. Being on my own was a relief because I no longer had to be with my ex, but being in charge of all the finances and decisions and pieces of my life that he had taken responsibility for was exhausting, hard and often overwhelming. In addition, I was struggling with all of the feelings of sadness, anger, guilt and the loss of friends, position, possessions, the house and garden I had created and loved, the life I knew–even family members lined up against me and some stopped talking to me.

Finding My True Self is the Greatest Silver Lining

I was struggling to figure out what had happened to me, how and why. During this time, I joined a committee that planned an annual professional development conference for people working in the area of domestic violence. I convinced the committee that we needed to address emotional abuse and we invited Dr. Marti Loring, our guest on today’s show, to be our expert speaker. She was my first silver lining. I picked her up at the airport and invited her to have lunch with me on the way to her hotel. Despite the fact that she was probably tired and needing to put the finishing touches on her presentation, she graciously agreed and talked with me about emotional abuse for quite a while, answering all of my questions with kindness and generosity of spirit. 

It was through her and her book, Emotional Abuse, that I discovered the key concept that was my second silver lining. When people are abused, whether it be emotional, psychological, physical, sexual or financial, they lose their true Self. We become whatever it is that we think we need to be to get love and acceptance. Of course this is a false hope, but the abused person is under the delusion that they are getting what they want. So we walk on egg shells, always trying to figure out what we need to say and do to be loved.

The fact is that all of us lose parts of ourselves when we try to fit in to societal norms. We all want to be loved and accepted and to some extent we fear that who we really are isn’t going to be good enough. So we hide important parts of ourselves. Sometimes we hide them so deeply that we never recover them. Recognizing that I had done this my whole life, under duress and false beliefs, allowed me to consciously pursue discovering what I like and don’t like and what the true gifts of my soul are. Instead of seeking love and approval from others, I learned to love and approve of myself. This truly is a silver lining beyond all others. When you have your Self, you have everything. 

The Joy of Helping Others Find Their Hidden Self

This understanding became the silver lining that underlies the work I do in helping my clients heal. I take great pleasure in watching them blossom. They change their hair styles, their style of dress, their jobs, their hobbies, their aspirations, their relationships and they get healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. Some of them change so dramatically that they are almost unrecognizable. The beautiful part of it is that each one of them is unique in their process. While discovering who they are, they release the fears, guilt, anger and false beliefs that used to consume them. As Marti says, they grieve their past, forgive themselves and find new hope. I am blessed to help facilitate their self-discovery and growth.

At 70, The Best is Yet to Come

Next month I turn 70. I know, society says women aren’t supposed to tell their age. The fact is that I love telling people because I always get the same response—an exclamation of disbelief and then a comment about how I don’t act or look my age. As I say at the beginning of every show, when we release negativity and emotional pain, we literally get younger. I’m living proof of that. That’s another silver lining. I feel like I’ve been given back a lot of the years that I lost in pain, fear and sadness. I am amazed every time I think about the fact that I’m moving into the best part of my life at the age of 70. This is when most people are retiring. Yet here I am with this fabulous radio show and fascinating guests every week who help me expand my knowledge and enrich me with their enthusiasm and passion as I experience the joy of getting to know them. I tell people it’s like getting a second Ph.D., only this one is fun! And there’s more, I have CDs and DVDs and books that I want to publish and workshops that I want to teach. Life just keeps getting better every day. I’m not closing down at 70. Instead I’m opening new doors to life. I have already accomplished a lot in my life, the most important of which was finding me. Because of that, the best is yet to come, personally and professionally.

Dr. Marti Loring has been an on-going blessing and inspiration to me. Every time I talk with her, I heal just by being in relationship with her. She is affirming and kind and always makes time to answer my questions. Some people heal with techniques, like Reiki. Marti heals by being who she is. Her patience, deep understanding of abuse and coercion, and belief in the power of people to heal is inspiring. You can learn more in her new co-authored book, Intimate Coercion: Recognition and Recovery. It is so well-written that you
will lose track of time while gaining insight about your own life or that of people who you know. With knowledge and support, healing is possible.

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